Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What is and what is not

Meiko-chan posing for you in today's motivational post (`・ω・´)

Hey Guys! ( ゚ヮ゚)

Today's post is to talk about different perceptions between self confidence and narcissism. Now why the sudden urge to voice about this topic you say? Well I notice especially amongst artists I know, they often denote themselves on the note of not to be narcissistic. But I find this to be rather a misuse of the term "Narcissism".

I mean, what's wrong with being proud of your own works especially if you've poured your whole heart and soul into making it? I don't mean that you should gloat or anything but rather just acknowledge your efforts and improvement in skill rather than putting it down and treat it as scrap paper.

Okay, so to shed more light on the proper meaning of this topic, here's what wikipedia's definition for the term 'Narcissism'.

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.


or an indifference to the plight of others.To further explain, the wikipedia page also listed down traits that are believed to belong to Narcissism which I took the liberty of including below:

  • An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
  • Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
  • A lack of psychological awareness
  • Difficulty with empathy
  • Problems distinguishing the self from others
  • Hypersensitivity to any sleights or imagined insults
  • Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
  • Haughty body language
  • Flattery towards people who admire and affirm him or her
  • Detesting those who do not admire him or her
  • Using other people without considering the cost to them of his or her doing so
  • Pretending to be more important than he or she is
  • Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating his or her achievements
  • Claiming to be an "expert" at most things
  • Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
  • Denial of remorse and gratitude

Okay so we all have a tinge of Narcissism in us whether we want it or not. But where being proud of your own works are concerned, I don't see points above that contribute to reaffirming that being proud of your efforts is an act of Narcissism. So why is it that artists here think that by being sure with what you can or cannot do means that you'll be perceived to be someone filled with self-love?

It does saddens me sometime whenever I see a good artist whip up an awesome piece and you compliment their efforts, all you get is "EH! NO LA. this is scrap laaa". People are paying respect to your work and you. So by saying that it doesn't only make you rude but it's the same as you slapping someone's hand away when they want to shake yours. ( ´_ゝ`)

That statement might seem much to most people but think about it, it's basic manners. We were taught that when we received a gift or anything else from other people, we should say "Thank You". So isn't a compliment a gift of words? Penny for thoughts eih?

And think about it; if we, ourselves are not proud of our works, who else is going to? You can if you think you can. It's all about self-belief. Do you believe in yourself enough to acknowledge the good and bad in you and work on them?

If it's for the sake of Humility that most people tend to respond this way, then I sorry to inform those who disagree that that is not Humility. As quoted from many, many books;

"Humility is thinking of yourself less not thinking less of yourself."


That means, it's simply putting others above yourself but not stepping all over yourself. Everything in moderation. So putting yourself down to the dirt isn't being humble, that's just you painting yourself with a big ol' red bullseye mark and calling yourself a Doormat.

To confess, I was guilty of being the fake "humble" when I first started out in the drawing community too so it happens to everyone obviously. I actually was very influenced by the artists I look up to in the community to the point that I pick up every single trait they have; both good and bad. But reading books about principles and self discovery has taught me many things and amongst those is being proud of who you are and what you can do.

Every one has things only they can do and things they can't, but hey. Isn't that what makes us individuals?Being special in our own way? So what's so demented about standing proud and acknowledging these things about ourselves? Aren't we taught to celebrate our differences?

I've been blessed enough to have parents that instill the right principles in me since young and they also taught me that knowledge is useless until you spread it to others. So here's small bit of what I've been taught;

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. People often compare their weaknesses to others' strengths so of course you'll end up "losing" in that argument. What we need to do is sharpen our strengths and work on changing our weaknesses into our strengths. Until you can differentiate and be sure of what you can or can't do, the only person you need to be in competition with is yourself.

That's it for today. ( ゚ヮ゚) I hope this post gives you a few penny for thoughts the next time someone gives you a compliment of your efforts in anything. Have a great day guys!


5 comments:

  1. 'the only person you need to be in competition with is yourself.' Nice post!

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  2. thanks senpai! 8D haha. Just kinda hope that people read it and think about it <3

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  3. ahh, I'm gonna get back to this later, need to go to uni now, but just wanted to say that there's always the other side, especially when it comes to that example you put up there- "EH! NO LA. this is scrap laaa"

    it doesn't always mean they're being too humble or something, sometimes you know you didn't do a really good job or it really was a doodle or something, and if the artist is popular, he'll have a lot of fans going "omg so cool/cute/amazing/brilliant" no matter if he did a huge epic piece he spent 40hours on or a quick 5 min doodle.. I can understand them going "omg but it's only a scrap, get real people!!" I'm often in the same position - being praised when I don't really deserve it xD also, I don't really like a$$kissers much and when you see that's exactly what they're going for with their compliments = no, sorry, but no xD Thank you for the effort, but please be a normal person! 8D

    Otherwise I pretty much agree xD there are also a lot of artists who keep thinking "omg I'm so bad I must improve but first I'm gonna whine here how much I suck" etcetc xD

    ahhhhh, I'm gonna be late >3> bbl!

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  4. I extremely agreed with the comment above. Something that's experienced by lots of artists, I guess, including me.

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  5. hrm agree chibi-chan i agree :X

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