Konpeito Dreams

Hey guys! (`･ω･´)

Just finished another stress relief piece I did with color pencils. I haven't touched color pencils for a really long time and well since this is meant to be a stress relief piece, I didn't dwell myself with the technicalities of it all. Over all I was pretty happy how it turned out.

Though the scanner didn't do it justice though D; it's really hard adjusting it since even here the softer colors completely disappear. ┐('～`；)┌ oh well. If you guys happen to meet me face to face I'd show you the original haha. It's definitely less choppy than the scanned version lawl!

This is one of my few symbolic pieces as I wanted something that would reflect what I was thinking at the moment ( ﾟヮﾟ) For this piece, I was going through a huge moment of self doubt so I wanted to get it out of my system and drew this piece.

The konpeito (if it looks like them at all), represents other people and their potential, mainly it's to represent the people around me whom I admire always for their abilities in their personal and professional lives. Hence them being all in pretty colors and all. I wanted to also portray how much I adore them.

The boy (my OC, Leo), represents my views upon the world. He's at that age where he's old enough but still naive and influential towards others comments thus he decides to stay in the bottle and "grow up" a little more before he becomes a full fledged konpeito himself. Whilst he awaits for the time he's ready, he gazes at the other floating konpeitos longingly, awaiting the day that he too can join them.

The bottle represents the state I think I'm in now. And the red string that holds the bottle jar's cap represents fate. And the kanji sentence 「私の番はいつかな？」　means "When's my turn?".

I've always felt that I'm the last in the race against others so I don't like putting myself in that situation. I always like to focus on the race I have with myself more than anything since I believe that different people have different growth rates. I for one, am a definite late bloomer so I often think of myself as a living proof of that fact. So whenever I do compare or put myself in a race against others, it takes a toll on my self-esteem.

But lately, a friend on mine expressed his views on this subject. He mentions that if you're not winning the race against others, it doesn't matter since you'll miss alot of the jest in things and someone else would've achieved it first. But does that make achieving success redundant? I've been taught that success is success no matter how long it takes you to achieve them. He simply is stating his beliefs I know, but since I respect and look up to him alot I can't help but wonder if that is true? Would I always end up being the "loser" if I were to be in a race against my peers?

But I'm just holding it in until I know my potential for sure. I believe this year will be an opportunity for me to really test my abilities and see if I do or do not have what it takes to even compete with them. But sometimes I just can't help but wonder, as I put in the extra load of effort in, "When's my turn to shine?"

Hopefully that time will be soon ('A`) Hopefully I'll become a konpeito myself soon.

Anyways!! I hope you like it as much as I had fun doing this piece :D

Bai bai!

Aikagi

hey guys ★

Couldn't sleep... it's 3.30 AM now so I doodled and got this;


One of my all-time favourite OCs, Rui at the tender age of 15 years old ★

He seems to be the only OC that I can write on and on about. This is him at one of the most important turning point of his life, so I wanted to put in that slight aura of distrust in him. He was being bullied badly in school so he often gives off that "don't touch me" aura.

Played around with my copic. I kind of felt happy at the end of this drawing haha. It's always stress reliving when I draw what I want when I want it.

I'm gonna try and go to sleep now. Oyasumi DEATH★

Sleep Abillities

Iffah being cute as always （　= //Д//=）

I had this ability that even if I slept for 12 hours, I can put my head on the pillow and sleep some more.

It was an awesome ability ＤＥＡＴＨ★

But as of late, I think I lost it.

Been sleeping at 5 AM everyday for 3 days now.

I want it back (≧ロ≦)

What is and what is not

Meiko-chan posing for you in today's motivational post (`･ω･´)

Hey Guys! ( ﾟヮﾟ)

Today's post is to talk about different perceptions between self confidence and narcissism. Now why the sudden urge to voice about this topic you say? Well I notice especially amongst artists I know, they often denote themselves on the note of not to be narcissistic. But I find this to be rather a misuse of the term "Narcissism".

I mean, what's wrong with being proud of your own works especially if you've poured your whole heart and soul into making it? I don't mean that you should gloat or anything but rather just acknowledge your efforts and improvement in skill rather than putting it down and treat it as scrap paper.

Okay, so to shed more light on the proper meaning of this topic, here's what wikipedia's definition for the term 'Narcissism'.

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

or an indifference to the plight of others.To further explain, the wikipedia page also listed down traits that are believed to belong to Narcissism which I took the liberty of including below:

• 
  

An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges

Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships

A lack of psychological awareness

Difficulty with empathy

Problems distinguishing the self from others

Hypersensitivity to any sleights or imagined insults

Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt

Haughty body language

Flattery towards people who admire and affirm him or her

Detesting those who do not admire him or her

Using other people without considering the cost to them of his or her doing so

Pretending to be more important than he or she is

Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating his or her achievements

Claiming to be an "expert" at most things

Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people

Denial of remorse and gratitude

• 
  

Okay so we all have a tinge of Narcissism in us whether we want it or not. But where being proud of your own works are concerned, I don't see points above that contribute to reaffirming that being proud of your efforts is an act of Narcissism. So why is it that artists here think that by being sure with what you can or cannot do means that you'll be perceived to be someone filled with self-love?

It does saddens me sometime whenever I see a good artist whip up an awesome piece and you compliment their efforts, all you get is "EH! NO LA. this is scrap laaa". People are paying respect to your work and you. So by saying that it doesn't only make you rude but it's the same as you slapping someone's hand away when they want to shake yours. （　´_ゝ`）

That statement might seem much to most people but think about it, it's basic manners. We were taught that when we received a gift or anything else from other people, we should say "Thank You". So isn't a compliment a gift of words? Penny for thoughts eih?

And think about it; if we, ourselves are not proud of our works, who else is going to? You can if you think you can. It's all about self-belief. Do you believe in yourself enough to acknowledge the good and bad in you and work on them?

If it's for the sake of Humility that most people tend to respond this way, then I sorry to inform those who disagree that that is not Humility. As quoted from many, many books;

"Humility is thinking of yourself less not thinking less of yourself."

That means, it's simply putting others above yourself but not stepping all over yourself. Everything in moderation. So putting yourself down to the dirt isn't being humble, that's just you painting yourself with a big ol' red bullseye mark and calling yourself a Doormat.

To confess, I was guilty of being the fake "humble" when I first started out in the drawing community too so it happens to everyone obviously. I actually was very influenced by the artists I look up to in the community to the point that I pick up every single trait they have; both good and bad. But reading books about principles and self discovery has taught me many things and amongst those is being proud of who you are and what you can do.

Every one has things only they can do and things they can't, but hey. Isn't that what makes us individuals?Being special in our own way? So what's so demented about standing proud and acknowledging these things about ourselves? Aren't we taught to celebrate our differences?

I've been blessed enough to have parents that instill the right principles in me since young and they also taught me that knowledge is useless until you spread it to others. So here's small bit of what I've been taught;

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. People often compare their weaknesses to others' strengths so of course you'll end up "losing" in that argument. What we need to do is sharpen our strengths and work on changing our weaknesses into our strengths. Until you can differentiate and be sure of what you can or can't do, the only person you need to be in competition with is yourself.

That's it for today. ( ﾟヮﾟ) I hope this post gives you a few penny for thoughts the next time someone gives you a compliment of your efforts in anything. Have a great day guys!