Walking Before You're Flying...huh?

Hey guys ( ﾟ ▽ﾟ)/ ♥

Yes it seems that I've successfully changed my header yet again. The previous header was ticking me off so much i had to put up another one, despite it being an old art as oppose to the previous one being from a new art. Why was it ticking me off, you ask?

Well right after completing that picture, I hit a dead artblock that has knocked me out cold for two days already and even though that art was meant to be a giftart and more of a technique practicing piece, I found it profoundly lacking in majority of areas so I started to see it as an eyesore haha..

Well, usually when I do a piece, I'd aim for originality in poses (mainly in the lineart) and such so I don't usually get to experiment with different techniques, especially with the coloring. But the previous header's piece was an especially rushed one since I was attending the birthday party the next day, plus I already done 6 drafts that looked worse than the last. So in the pressure of the small time I had till the deadline, I referenced heavily on the last piece (which I don't normally do).

So i guess that just leaves me with a sense of false achievement and guilt since it was done for a friend. I felt like I didn't really give it my all since I always strive for my next pieces to be better than the previous ones. And to have the thought that I gave something that didn't have my 110% effort in it to a good friend, just disgusts me. And he's such a good friend too, I felt he should receive second to none.

On top of that, after several critiques that pointed all the facts that I noticed earlier on which just rubs the those feelings way deeper than it was before and also reassured me of the fact that the said piece is indeed one of the worst I've done. And.... I gave it to a friend. Some friend I am right? Well I'm just simply glad my friend who I did it for loved it. But then he also loved that small platypus keychain I bought from Australia too ;;;; he's too nice so he's not too hard to please... I guess? haha. Neon you rock.

In a nutshell, I notice that especially where my art is concerned I am very much a perfectionist and am often very critical about it since I, many a time relate my art to who I am as a person. Like for instance, the previous piece I referenced heavily on made me feel like I rely too much on other people for guidance, which to me is the same as being weak and dependent. Or when I'm the only one in my circle of peers that can't do a certain technique on paper (or screen, if it's digital), I'd consider myself the most inexperienced and void of knowledge amongst them therefore sometimes leading me to question of my right to be around them as a fellow artist.

I've always been taught to aim high and all, but am I aiming too high? Most of the time I find myself working half to death just to stand on a level everyone says "Average"... Am I setting my goals to high, too soon? Am I learning how to run when I should learn how to walk first?

I'm not too much of a judge when it comes to myself since alot of people have pointed out to me that I'm too biased and critical when it comes to me being me. So how should I go around doing this? What do you guys think?